When a child is sexually abused, his normal sexual development is cut short. He’s forced to be sexual on an adult’s timetable. He doesn’t get to feel his own desire, sexual orientation, or interest. Nor does he get the chance to explore sex in an age-appropriate way. He learns that desire (the abuser’s desire), is a scary, out-of-control force. The child’s first experiences of sexual arousal are linked with shame, disgust, pain, and humiliation. This makes for powerful imprinting. If the abuse was linked with affection and nurturing, the child grows up confused about the difference between affection and sex, intimacy and intrusion.
Allies in Healing by Laura Davis
(This is the first non-punjab related post I’ve made in the past several days, but I do believe it is very relevant to the universal suffering I wish all individuals were free from).